5 things parents should never say to their child, which can destroy their confidence:

 

 “You can’t do that” or “That’s too hard for you”

  • Explanation of how this can make a child doubt their abilities and limit their potential
  • Alternative ways to approach a challenging situation

When parents say things like “you can’t do that” or “that’s too hard for you,” it can have a negative impact on their child’s self-esteem and confidence. Children who hear these kinds of messages may start to believe that they are not capable of achieving their goals and may be less likely to try new things or take risks.

Children who doubt their abilities may limit themselves to what they think they can do, rather than pushing themselves to reach their full potential. This can lead to missed opportunities for growth and development. It’s important for parents to recognize their child’s potential and encourage them to explore new challenges, even if they seem difficult at first.

Instead of telling a child that something is too hard for them, parents can offer support and encouragement. By breaking down a challenge into smaller, more manageable tasks, parents can help their child build confidence and develop a sense of accomplishment as they make progress. Positive reinforcement and praise can also help children feel good about their efforts and motivate them to keep trying.


“Why can’t you be more like your sibling/friend?”

  • Explanation of how comparisons can be harmful to a child’s self-esteem
  • How to focus on a child’s unique strengths and accomplishments instead

Comparing a child to their sibling or friend by saying “Why can’t you be more like them?” can be harmful to their self-esteem and sense of self-worth. This kind of language can create feelings of jealousy, resentment, and inadequacy in the child being compared.

It’s important for parents to recognize and appreciate each child’s unique strengths and accomplishments. Focusing on a child’s individual qualities and achievements can help them build self-confidence and feel valued for who they are.

Instead of comparing a child to others, parents can help their child set their own goals and work towards achieving them. By celebrating their child’s successes, no matter how small, parents can help build their child’s sense of self-worth and encourage them to keep trying.

Parents can also foster a supportive and positive environment at home by acknowledging their child’s efforts and progress. By providing constructive feedback and encouraging a growth mindset, parents can help their child develop a strong sense of self-esteem and resilience.

“You’re not good enough”

  • Explanation of how this can create a negative self-image and discourage a child from trying new things
  • How to provide constructive feedback and encourage improvement

When a child is told they are “not good enough,” it can create a negative self-image and discourage them from trying new things. This type of language can make a child feel like they are not capable of achieving their goals or that their efforts are not valued.

Children who are discouraged from trying new things may become more risk-averse and less willing to take on challenges. They may also become more self-critical and develop low self-esteem, which can have long-lasting effects on their mental health and well-being.

Instead of telling a child that they are not good enough, parents can provide constructive feedback and encouragement. By acknowledging a child’s efforts and progress, parents can help build their self-confidence and create a positive environment for growth and development.

Parents can also help their child set achievable goals and work towards them. By celebrating their child’s successes, no matter how small, parents can help build their child’s self-esteem and encourage them to keep trying.

“Stop being so sensitive” or “You’re overreacting”

  • Explanation of how dismissing a child’s emotions can make them feel invalidated and misunderstood
  • How to validate a child’s feelings and help them develop healthy coping strategies

When a child is told to “stop being so sensitive” or that they are “overreacting,” it can dismiss and invalidate their emotions. This type of language can make a child feel like their feelings are not important or are not being taken seriously, which can cause them to feel misunderstood and unheard.

Dismissal of a child’s emotions can also discourage them from expressing their feelings in the future, leading to difficulties in communicating their emotions and building strong relationships with others.

Instead of dismissing a child’s emotions, parents can validate their child’s feelings and help them develop healthy coping strategies. By acknowledging their child’s emotions and expressing empathy, parents can help their child feel heard and understood.

Parents can also help their child develop healthy coping strategies, such as deep breathing or journaling, to manage their emotions in a positive way. By modeling healthy emotional regulation and coping skills, parents can help their child learn how to manage their emotions in a healthy and productive way.

 

“I’m disappointed in you”

  • Explanation of how this can create fear of failure and lead to a lack of self-confidence
  • How to encourage a child’s efforts and celebrate their successes, no matter how small

When a child is told “I’m disappointed in you,” it can create fear of failure and lead to a lack of self-confidence. This type of language can make a child feel like their efforts are not valued or that they have let their parents down. As a result, they may become more self-critical and hesitant to take risks.

Children who fear disappointing their parents may become more risk-averse and less willing to try new things. They may also become more focused on avoiding failure rather than pursuing success, which can limit their potential and opportunities for growth.

Instead of expressing disappointment, parents can encourage their child’s efforts and celebrate their successes, no matter how small. By acknowledging their child’s progress and effort, parents can help build their child’s self-confidence and create a positive environment for growth and development.

Parents can also help their child develop a growth mindset by focusing on learning and improvement rather than perfection. By providing constructive feedback and encouraging their child to keep trying, parents can help their child develop resilience and determination in the face of challenges.

One Thing to Help your Child say to themselves is Yes I Can!

Positive self-talk is incredibly important for building children’s confidence and resilience. At Mastery Martial Arts, we prioritize empowering children with the “yes, I can” mindset. This mindset emphasizes the belief that abilities and skills can be developed through hard work and dedication. We teach this as the first lesson to all of our students, and it is reinforced in every lesson.

Parents can take this a step further by modeling positive self-talk for their children. By whispering “yes, I can” to themselves, parents can demonstrate the power of positive thinking and encourage their children to adopt the same mindset.

We believe in creating a supportive and positive environment for all of our students. Our instructors are trained to provide encouragement and constructive feedback to help students build confidence and improve their skills. We celebrate all of our students’ successes, no matter how small, and encourage them to keep pushing themselves to reach new heights.

At Mastery Martial Arts, we have see daily how  martial arts training can help children develop not only physical skills but also mental strength and resilience.

By teaching children to embrace the “yes, I can” mindset, we are setting them up for success both in and out of the dojo.

If you would like to see for yourself how martial arts is helping thousands of children in the words of their parents,  we invite you to join our Mastery FaceBook group community.